


Yelp

by DarkmoonSigel



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Funny, M/M, Quick Read, Something quick, Tumblr Prompt, just something to make you smile, something light
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:35:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27698390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkmoonSigel/pseuds/DarkmoonSigel
Summary: Just a funny little conversation being held outside the bookshop. Inspired by https://naniiebimworks.tumblr.com/post/628685724835856385/the-reality-of-retirement-az-fell-and-co fabulous art!
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 70





	Yelp

**Author's Note:**

> Didn’t want to write anything serious.

“Oi, don’t go in there.”

“Why not?”

“The guy who runs it is a complete nutter.”

“Aren’t they all? Remember that one Irish bloke? He one who sleeps at his desk, already half in the bag before noon?”

“Yeah, but this one really takes the biscuit.”

“He can’t be all that bad. Is he rude or somethin’?”

“Nah, mate. He’s just...weird. Like really weird.”

“Is that it? Pffff, I’m going in. I won’t be long.”

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“Be out in the few.”

“That didn’t take long. What happened?”

“He’s sitting in there with the largest snake I’ve ever seen in my entire life, just sitting there drinking his tea. Like the snake is bodily wrapped round him.”

“Anything else?”

“The snake had wings. I think it was sleeping?”

“How’d you know that?”

“It was snoring.”

“Snakes don’t snore, mate.”

“I’m telling you that this one does.”

“So what happened next?”

“I ask him about it, about the huge bloody snake that’s wrapped around him, using his head as a pillow. I was like ‘Oi, you got a proper problem there.’ He says back ‘Do I? Whatever do you mean, dear boy?’, and I’m like ‘I hate to break it to you, mate, but you’ve a massive snake all around you.’”

“And?“

“He looked dead in my eyes and asked me if it was common for me to see things that aren’t there.”

“...”

“What?”

“Well, is it.?”

“Oh, fuck off. Don’t you start in on me too. I’m being serious here.”

“What did you say to that?”

“Nothing. Just kinda stumbled back out here is all.”

“A bit anticlimactic, innit?”

“You go in there then, and tell me I’m wrong.”

“Hard pass.”

“Why not?”

“‘Cause the last time I was in, there was a bloke sleeping on the ceiling in a snake shaped sleeping bag.”

“You’re having me on.”

“I swear on me mum’s life I’m not. He was up there, sawing a log.”

“So whatcha do?”

“I asked the pansy shopkeep if he was seeing it too, and he looked at me like I was the crazy one there.”

“So either we’re both going completely mental, or there is some sort of snake man ghost thing haunting that bookshop?”

“Yup.” 

“Right...You think the owner’s in on it?”

“Oh, defo. 1 star review to save a life.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. Your kudos boop the snake on its snoot. Your comments attempt to buy a book. It does not go well for either.


End file.
